I wanted to hide like Lou did this morning, she was sad because Germany did not won the european soccer cup and I am devastated because I have no plan. I just know I have to do and want to do so many things and I can't plan anything because there is no proper timeschedule for the film I will work for in summer which interferes and blocks any other decisions that have to be made. I am paralyzed with all the IF's at the moment.
I want to concentrate on my project, I want to know at which school Lou will start in september, when, where and with whom we/them/her will spend the summervacation, so many nice offers and possibilities, I want to be able to confirm other costumejobs soon because thats what pays my living... and I know it is very luxurious to have problems like this so I will try to be more confident again and find a starting point to unravel the whole indesicive situation.
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I like his pictureshop good photos like the white/yellow/black one i posted above.
All of a sudden there was a long silence this morning, just before we had to leave for preschool. I found Lou tying up her friend N's shoes, very quiet and concentrated, both of them. It touched me and I felt sorry for her not having siblings to share such social domestic pleasures more often.
Yellow light of an billboard in front of my studio where I spent time in my bubble, experimenting, failing, enjoying to have time in between everyday duties to think about things like that:
I did something similar for the theater this spring, a cape/shawl with holes for the arms, I use the rehearsal version as a room devider hanging on a rail, found here.
Midsummernight in Bad Saarow, just with Lou. We had an unexpected long journey, caused by many little accidents like loosing the key on our way.
But then a happy evening and an early, simple but perfect breakfast the next day on the landing stage.
The first official day of summer was really warm and good, endless baths in the lake, painting and drawing in the house to flee the heat in the middle of the day and later friends and L. who had to take various obstacles to join us too.
It is still such an incredible luxury to be able to rent this house at the lake for a couple of years, thanks to our friends A and C who knew and found it.
Today was the art exhibition at Lou's school. ( I decided to give up on big and small L, too complicated), so you know now a bigger part of my daughters name! I was really amazed how good it was, the effort they made to set up the show and how devoted they worked on art with the children, from preschool to 6th grade, but we are not spoiled at all, our kindergarten was very special if it came to esthethic topics.
The wonderful yellow box had a label on his T-shirt that said "art for me is...happiness", the shoes are just artistique and the cardboard trompe L`oeil thing was made by Lou and her friend N. She did a big soccer thing as well, mentioned here because while writing this, Berlin is making silly, happy big noise, Germany just won the quarter final game ...it 's so loud!
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I found this incredible books in the bookshop today, the nice young french bookseller turned a blind eye to me when I was taking pictures, the complete edition was on sale for 350 Euro, so there was no point to buy them but there were all this incredible designed Ensemble rooms from the late 30ies to 1960 , a lot of strange curtains and room deviders, things I am extremely interested in at the moment. Look at this fabulous and decadent children rooms, like a screwball comedy setting for infants.
I always liked build in furniture, custom made rooms, our flat is the complete opposite. L. likes to rearrange things once in a while, so everything has to be flexible, our friends are sometimes a little bit irritated if they visit us and the sofa has just moved to the opposite side of the room.
So I will dream about this rooms and try to work on my interpretation.
Today was planned to be my first day on my own. In my studio, without any other duty, 8 hours to start with whatever could be realized of all the plans I made in the last months but then Little L. decided this morning to "not feel well" and after I called in sick for her at preschool she was as enthusiastic and energetic as always, so we decided to "not feel well together" because I still have this ugly cold after 2 weeks. We spent a slow and wonderful day together with hot food and thyme tea and for Lunch, L too.
I finally managed to get the dress for her done and she did some serious embroidery. I expected her to do some wild things like her drawings but she started with the stars and had just a little wild moment and ended with the car.
I still wonder where my inspiration came from, the dress does not look very familiar to me, looking at it feels like seeing somebody elses work even if I did some drawings before and it looks very much alike. It is propably a mix of all the things spinning around in my head put into a dress for a girl and accidentally looking like russian constructivism!
The whole weekend we sorted out L.s room, piece by piece, very relaxed, she grew out of so many things and we found much space for the things that remained and rediscovered and fixed some forgotten little treasures like the fish mobile we inherited from my step grandmother, the raft we made together at a rainy summer day and a piece of fabric embroidered with starshaped sequins I made when I was a teenager. I always tell her that sorting out with the right manner could be fun too because usually you will find long lost cherished things and we always do.
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I nearly forgot how amazing this photographer is too until I saw some pictures of him again in a fashion magazine recently, the only ones I liked in there and the first ones he did after 5 years not working with the industry. Have a look and read that interesting interview even if it is 2 years old...
I saw this girl in the schoolyard at L's preschool today and was fascinated immediately by the colors of her outfit, seconds later I realized that she was wearing an old dress of my former children clothing collection and then felt very honored that someone liked a dress we made so much that they kept it for more then 3 years and that it was still looking so cool thanks to their styling and then it came to my mind that I know her mother a little bit, a talented stylist and photographer.
Found this 2nd hand dress for L. yesterday, it's calming me down to see beautiful things if nothing else gets organised or done quick enough.
This ladys made me laugh today, I love their masks, their unperfect but good bodys and their timeless 70ies styling. Found via this good blog.
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The hole family got new shoes today, after some very effective hours doing ultra boring account work I decided to dare a glimpse into my favorite shop who opened his second branch 2 minutes away from my door and I could'nt resist. I am very conservative if it comes to fashion, especially shoes and Bally is perfect, They have this precise mixture of conservative and tacky which I really like.
I got beautiful flat sandals in dark brown calfleather, a little bit classy hippyish but the soles have little flat silver studs in the front and in the back, some covered by the foot, some show.
L got darkbrown suede espadrilles, very St. Tropez, looks very good on him.
Little L got pink survivalsandals she chose herself in a very unpc shop because her beautiful darkblue ones fell apart last sunday.
This is Ida, a doll my mother made for me when I was a little girl, now she is with little L who dressed her like that today
she wears a dress I made for another doll for L with a matching one for herself
and a barbercape L made for her
Ida has a sister, her name is Nana, she lives in Vancouver like my sister D
Today I decided to give my friend S. my last sleepingbag as a birthday present. I made them 7 years ago for an exhibition I did with my dear friend C.
They are made to hide and recover if you don't feel well or just need some time for yourself.
L took some pictures and it felt right to give the last one away because today I finally started with other things that are somehow related but still need time to develop. It is always healthy to ged rid of things even if it hurts a little bit, it creates space for other ideas.
I took this picture yesterday evening in the hotel before we went to the wrap party. Watching it on screen the picture with the mouse mask came to my mind, I photographed it when she was'nt even two years old. I know I posted a lot of pictures of my girl recently but time is running so fast and after having spent such an intense time with her and because of being a little bit weak due to a heavy cold I dare to share my feelings beeing a very lucky mother.
Back home, watering the plants in the roofgarden and after all the paperwork is done next week I hopefully will start with my own project.
Last 3 days of shooting „Jerichow“ at the baltic sea in Fischland and the last months in preeschool for L. before the school starts after the summer holiday.
Last chance to take her with me to work during the week, the first time without L. or a babysitter and it work’s out very well. Thanks to my perfect team I have time to spend with her, thanks to the rest of the team she feels warmly welcomed, we are very happy being together.
+ after our bath in the very cold sea, hair done by herself
+ painting with watercolours early in the morning without a brush which I forgot to bring
+ chatting with the actors in the makeup van
+ strong wind in the cornfield
+ rocks with swallows nests/holes
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