Today I had my day off at home, or at least 3 hours inbetween dropping L. off at preschool, picking up things at the seamstress, buying some things for the film, doing errands to be prepared for the long weekend, and picking up L. after school.
My plan was to do:
+ laundry ( minimum 3 machines)
+ tidying up the appartment and getting rid of winter stuff
+ vacuumcleaning
+ paying accounts
+ answering job mails
+ doing tax
+ checking and packing some things in my studio, on the way postoffice and drycleaner
+ post something here
I managed not to loose my contenance, which I ausually do after I decided it’s time to tidy up after coming home while working abroad.
Normally I start getting things done but after a while my phantasy is exaggerating everything, I start imagining scyscraperhigh piles of un-p.c. plastictoys, tons of newspapers, dirty clothes, unfinished things and dust and dirt, a terrible mess everywhere.
It is like a grotesque distortion, I am completely convinced that I will not be able to clear the chaos and I usually have a small nervous breakdown and finally I pitty myself and then get a quarter of the things done which is enough to calm down.
Today I managed to stay relaxed, tried to find beauty in the mess an praised my family for beeing able to survive and have a lot of fun without me taking care and took the pictures above.
After I had a look at them on my computerscreen this feeling of loosing control came back, I realized that I had not understood a single thing about handling the new camera not to talk about exposure or aperture settings. Every bad picture was twice in the folder and every copy had a strange effect...
Fortunately I got a call at this moment and I decided that having done 3,5 things of the list is better than nothing and that it is time to improve my capacity of patience, got my things packed and spent a very nice afternoon with little L., even with searching hard but finally finding very much needed shoes for her. She was so patient, my wonderful daughter who sometimes is so surprisingly wise.
