That is the motivating part of doing more than one job at once, the research leading me into completely different worlds.
Germany in the seventies and New Zealand nowadays. I have never felt drawn to that country, but now...
The other part is to know that after I will have managed the next turbulent 7 weeks I will be free again, the autumn and winter for my own project, family and friends.
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stills from Whale Rider and a picture of Ingeborg Bachmann



I just like him, found while going trough my archives, searching 70ies references, don't remember the name of the old magazine I took the picture from


rainy sunday

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recreation center built by lou
assisting as a model for workingpictures
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and this wonderful film in the cinema, "die dicke Tilla" / "big tilla", shot in 1981 in the former GDR by Werner Bergmann. Autonomous girls whith helpless parents, not able to slip into their childrens world anymore, dealing very direct and intelligent with their conflicts. late 70ies asthetics in socialism and a wonderful flying fish.


Halston, then and now

I always wanted to become a real lady, stylewise I was between twenty and thirty and then I gave up. It started with my first pair of trainers at the age of 28, a present from my thenboyfriend, adidas samba, black and white. I exactly remember the new state of being, becoming more approachable without heels and my vintage and selfmade outfits. accomodativeness ( what a wonderful word compared to comfortability if that exists) overtook my fashion decisions, Jeans, T-shirts and sneakers won.
From time to time I restart, like today, working in a silkblouse and a skirt but I always try too on becoming a lady, behaviour-wise , which is even more difficult.
Halston, then and now is exactly the style I always wanted to wear and own. Sometimes I am not so very far away reaching it but my evenings at home are not exactly as glamorous as above.
Yes, dear N. I totally agree as you see, such a good find, indead.


knickspiel ceatures

we do this everytime we go to a restaurent, somebody draws a head, folding it backwards, passing it to the next person who draws the body...we did them at lunch at the "broken toe day", as you can see it is all about horses and soccer this days in lous world.
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another adorable strange creature, reborn! thank you C.


ending summer

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found some fond summer memories on my small camera, it seems already so far away, it's the middle of august, it's supposed to be high summer, not fair.
J. look, thats so wonderful you work projected onto the wall ...
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back working I cheered myself up with taking pictures of patterns on clothes, again in the children department of the costume rental


attic & acrobatic

we made the attic of the cardboardhouse today, Lou and her friend M sew the cushions by hand and made the carpets.
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back home lou was improvising acrobatic exercises with my dear friend N. who was picking up her daughter M. and ended up on the sofa with a "broken" little toe...I hope not, we will find out tomorrow.


last week 2

she started reading herself last week, shortly before school starts, literally eating the books, on her own very quiet and sometimes loud too for us and her friends. It made me happy to see how much she enjoyed it but she is so very eager to become independent, sometimes I am afraid she grows too fast in many ways, I want her to be my little girl forever...



surfing the internet while being to weak again to do something else I stumbled upon the photographer giasco bertolis website, finding this picture of claire denis.
she made one of the films that completely changed my perception, l'intrus, it is about a man who undergoes a heart transplant operation, literally and in many other ways and because I have problems with my heart since three weeks and know the reason is not physical but feel so limited and weak, found many answers in reading cd's intellectual approach to the story again, adapted from a text by philosopher Jean-Luc Nancy.
It is incredible that the film that made me so angry after seeing it the first time in 2004, but then after discussing it and trying to watch it without any prejudice gave me a very new idea of how dramaturgy of films could work, now seems to be the ignition of being able to find an access to my newly developed symptoms of psychosomatism. I always knew that my nonitellectual life made me sick!
My english is too limited to give you an impression of the complexity of that masterpiece so read more here if you are interested.


last week

It was the first time we stayed longer than a couple of days in bs. the three of us and some friendly visitors from time to time. we finally discovered some parts of the surrounding, spent days with relaxing activities like gardening, cooking, baking, repairing, swimming, crafting and making plans, that calmed me down the most, to have a new perspective, I wish we really will be able to realize some of our intentions soon like finding a calmer new home with a more social neighbourhood for lou, not accepting stressful jobs anymore, finding enough time for our projects...

the project of the week, the cardboardhouse, we started at the stormy monday morning, I always knew there is a big challenge in limitation and coincidence too, it had led to the best results in my working or creative activities. I just have been throwing a little plastic bag with some older fleemarket buys into the suitcase the last minute before we left, I already had completely forgotten about the yellow armchair, I just had the antique pearls in mind and then it all came together with the little surfingboards lou made with our beloved babysitter N and all the other stuff she had packed herself. I just love that, if everything comes together like a jigsaw, makes me really happy.



we are leaving to bad saarow tomorrow, have to regain some energy, am very exhausted, looking forward to being with my family, making quiet and small things and plans for a less stressful life, am in the mood for changes, have a wonderful week all of you.
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some more impressions from last week

another hero of my childhood, so familiar to us because we always have been surrounded by his graphic work, i am just realizing how good he was looking at the pictures and with a little distance.
in my parents home and at an exhibition in ulm, lou so wanted to have a poster, they did not sell them there, lucky her to have a grandfather with a huge collection of otl aichers work, we will hang it soon, yes, he did lufthansa, olympic games 1972, rotis...
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exactidudes, knew the book, just found the website, wonder how mine would be labeled and look like
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